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Life’s Too Short to Dance with Ugly Women

Mink Coat: Something you give to your wife to keep her warm… or quiet.

Life's Too Short Book Image

Life’s Too Short to Dance with Ugly Women


Life’s Too Short
To Dance with Ugly Women…

It’s a Man’s Joke Book.

Funny! A Really Really Funny Man’s Joke Book.

If you’re a man, you’re gonna love this book. At just under fifteen bucks, you’d be crazy not to buy it! Fast payback in the first few hundred laughs! And the lifetime of smiles and great sayings you’ll use over and over.

If you’re a woman… OK, maybe you won’t like it as much. This isn’t a self-help book. Actually you shouldn’t buy this book – it’s not for you. If you buy this book and don’t like it — hey, we warned you. It’s not our fault if you can’t follow instructions!

Life’s Too Short: It’s sort of a Man’s Guide to Women!

Fast-paced and fun right from the start with sayings and one liners about man’s favorite — and not so favorite subject — Women. No, nothing mean or nasty. OK, well maybe just a few – but that’s not important now – what important is it’s mostly accurate and descriptive, with sayings like:

· Diamonds – the hardest substance known to man, especially to get back.

· Any woman who says she’ll meet you half way is usually a poor judge of distance.

· When women get divorced they all ask for custody of the money.

· She may not marry you for your money — but she may not know any other way to get it.

· If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don’t stand in her way.

· Adolescence – when a girl’s voice changes from no to yes!

Not for sale to women — unless you are buying
it as a gift for a man. Please bring a note.

Just $14.95 e-Book available on this website.  Also available in paperback available on Amazon.
Buy Now – please!  We need the money!
Just kidding – you don’t have to buy this now.  Just send the money.

Buy Now

Published by –
~ The Danielle Adams Publishing Co. ~
Box 100 · Merion Station, Pa 19066
Telephone 610/642-1000

Life’s Too Short! isn’t all jokes, though…

Life’s Too Short includes Quotes… about Women!

Hey, we didn’t make this stuff up.
…Someone else did —

Almost 60 pages of quotes! Including:

· Here’s to women, if we could only fall into their arms without falling into their hands.
Ambrose Bierce · Page 165

· A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
Rudyard Kipling

· Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.
Barbey d’Aurevilly

· A true gentlemen is one who is never unintentionally rude.
Oscar Wilde

· All tragedies are finished by a death, All comedies are ended by a marriage.
Lord Byron. From the chapter Quotations about Marriage · Page 195

· Apparently, the way to a girl’s heart is to saw her in half.  
Victor Mature.  From the chapter Famous People Quotations · Page 203

· The years that a woman subtracts from her age are not lost. They are added onto the ages of other women.
Deane de Poitiers

· Never trust a woman who tells her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything.
Oscar Wilde

· A woman always has her revenge ready.

What? You like this? And want more? OK, you sick puppy you… here ya go:

Just a small sample of over 160 pages of Jokes about Man’s Favorite Subject: Women!

· Every woman has a secret desire to write checks.
Chapter One:  Sayings about Women · Page 21

· Give a woman an inch, and she thinks she’s a ruler.
Chapter Two: One and Two Liners about Women · Page 27

· A man is as old as the woman he feels.
Chapter… oh, you get it.  More Sayings about Women  · Page 35

· If you want to know why they’re called the opposite sex, express an opinion!
Still More Sayings · Page 39

· She’s one of 5 million overweight women. These, of course, are round figures.
Just Jokes (These jokes are Justified!) · Page 43

· “Carry your bag, sir?” “No, let her walk!”
Conversations Overheard… · Page 77

· “What do you do when a woman faints?” Dr. Mann: “I stop Kissing Her!”
Ask Dr. Mann · Page 85

· Q: Why are women like baseball umpires? A: They make quick decisions, never reverse them, and they don’t think you’re safe when you’re out.
Burning Questions About Women · Page 93

· If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way.
Wives, and other strange stories · Page 99

· Mink Coat: Something you give to your wife to keep her warm, or quiet.
Definitions Page 105

· Foreplay is optional!
Why it’s GREAT being a guy — Page 111

· “It’s only the third quarter – you should order another couple of pitchers.”
Things a good woman will say… Page 113

· They seem to be the perfect couple – she waxes the floor, and he takes a bottle and polishes it off.
Marriage · Page 117

· “Say Waiter, what time is it?” “Sorry, this isn’t my table.”
Men Jokes ·  Page 123

· “I’m hung like a loaf of Italian Bread!”
Automobile Sayings (Car Signs) · Page 135

· Wrinkles add character
103 More reasons is GREAT being a guy · Page 147

· Pass My Shotgun
What PMS really stands for! · Page 158


Well… what are you waiting for?  Order Now.  Get the rest of the 235 pages of this fun and funny e-book for just under fifteen bucks.  You know you want it…

A hardbound paperback of this title can be ordered on Amazon.

Please Note:  The current price of this e-book is $14.95!  It’s really well worth it! And you can order it right here:

Buy Now

Please Order Now – Price goes up to $17.95 in the fall.

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