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Fun and Funny Book: Life’s Too Short!


New Book! From The Danielle Adams Publishing Company.

Life’s Too Short: 234 pages of fast-paced fun and funny humor.

We love women, but sometimes it’s just GREAT to be a guy:

• You can be President;
• Foreplay is optional
• Wrinkles add character —
• And while some women can fake an orgasm, men can fake whole relationships!

Quick – Buy this book! It’ll be the best twenty bucks you’ve spent in the last 20 years!
Admit it, you’ve spent more money than this taking a fat girt to a drive-in. Hey, don’t look around, you know who I’m talking to…

“Life’s Too Short…  To Dance with Ugly Women!”
Jokes, One-Liners and Quotes about Women.

Finally, A Man’s Guide to Women!

Life's Too Short

Life’s Too Short

Now, the jokes are on them!
New book from Danielle Adams Publishing
234 pages, 5-½” x 8-½” · Edited by Dr. Mann
Paperback – Just $17.95 + $5 shipping/handling

First of all, it’s Funny!

No, I mean it’s really Funny.

In fact, it’s more than Funny — it’s F-U-N-N-Y.

If you’re a man, you’re gonna love this book. At just $17.95 you’d be crazy not to buy it!  The first few hundred laughs will more than cover this $20 dollar investment! And the lifetime of smiles and great sayings you’ll use over and over will make you king-like in bars, at parties, at gas station mini-marts and 7-11’s across the country. It’s value will increase over time. OK… maybe, maybe not, we might have gone a little overboard here, but still – it’s funny.

If you’re a woman… Actually you shouldn’t buy this book – don’t read it, it’s not for you (unless it’s a gift for a man!). If you buy this book and don’t like it — hey, we warned you. It’s not our fault if you can’t follow instructions!

Life’s Too Short speaks volumes about women – FUNNY volumes.

“Life’s Too Short To Dance with Ugly Women!” is a man’s joke book.

Fast-paced and fun right from the start with sayings and one liners about man’s favorite — and not so favorite subject — Women.

Nothing mean or nasty. OK, well maybe just a few – but seriously, or not seriously – it’s mostly just accurate and descriptive, with sayings like:

Any woman who says she’ll meet you half way is usually a poor judge of distance.

When women get a divorce they all ask for custody of the money.

She may not marry you for your money — but she may not know
any other way to get it.

If your wife wants to learn how to drive, don’t stand in her way.

Diamonds – the hardest substance known to man, especially to get back.

Adolescence – when a girl’s voice changes from no to yes!

You just gotta buy this book: Life’s Too Short to Dance with Ugly Women. It’s only $17.95 – you’ve wasted more than five times that on a mediocre bottle of wine. Not for sale to women — unless you’re buying it as a gift for a man. Please bring a note.  Here’s what you get, including the page numbers.

Book Title:  Life’s Too Short To Dance with Ugly Women

Table of Contents:  Jokes

Every woman has a secret desire to write checks.
Chapter Title: Sayings about Women                   Page 21

Give a woman an inch, and she thinks she’s a ruler.
One and Two Liners about Women              Page 27

I could hug you till you break,” he said passionately, and gave her a big
squeeze, until he felt her crack.
More One and Two Liners                  Page 31

A man is as old as the woman he feels.
More Sayings about Women              Page 35

If you want to know why they’re called the opposite sex, express an opinion!
Still More Sayings                          Page 39

She’s one of 5 million overweight women.
These, of course, are round figures.
Just Jokes (These jokes are Justified!)             Page 43

“Carry your bag, sir?”
“No, let her walk!”
Conversations Overheard…                   Page 77

“What do you do when a woman faints?”
Dr. Mann: “I stop Kissing Her!”
Ask Dr. Mann                     Page 85

Show Me Your Tits!
Men’s Words & Sayings              Page 92

Why is a fat girl like a moped?
They’re both fun to ride till a friend sees you!
Burning Questions About Women             Page 93

If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way.
Wives, and other strange stories        Page 99

Wife: An attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.
Definitions                      Page 105

Foreplay is optional!
Why it’s GREAT being a guy              Page 111

“It’s only the third quarter – you should order another couple of pitchers.”
Things a good woman will say…             Page 113

They seem to be the perfect couple – she waxes the floor,
and he takes a bottle and polishes it off.
Marriage                         Page 117

“Say Waiter, what time is it?”
“`Sorry, this Isn’t my table”
Men Jokes                      Page 123

Q. What’s the definition of Making Love?
A. Something a woman does while a guy is humping her.
Questions about men and women           Page 127

Doilies. If it wasn’t for women, we wouldn’t have this stuff.
Women Stuff Page      134

“I’m hung like a loaf of Italian Bread!”
Automobile Sayings (Car Signs)            Page 135

Wrinkles add character
103 More reasons is GREAT being a guy         Page 147

A Quick 10-Question Manly Test
Page  156

Pass My Shotgun
What PMS really stands for…     Page 158

Quotations about Women

Here’s to women, if we could only fall into
their arms without falling into their hands.
Ambrose Bierce
Quotations about Women               Page 165

A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke.
Rudyard Kipling
More Quotations about Women         Page 169

If a woman likes another woman, she’s cordial.
If she doesn’t like her, she’s very cordial.
Irvin S. Cobb
Still More Quotes About Women           Page 175

Let us have wine and women, mirth and lafter,
sermons and soda water the day after.
Lord Byron
Some people like women           Page 179

Men, some to pleasure, some to business take,
but every woman is at heart a rake.
Alexander Pope
Some people don’t like women             Page 181

Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.
Barbey d’Aurevilly
Some people have mixed feelings     Page 183

Want More?  Yes, we thought so.  That’s why we wrote this book.

Have Fun!  Order Now!  Just $17.95 (+ $5 S&H) in Paperback.  Yes, real old fashioned ink on paper!

Impress your friends — Here’s our fun brochure:

LTS Brochure (Our brochure is funny, too bad the old price is incorrect.  Sorry – You should have bought it sooner!)

From the Danielle Adams Publishing Company.